Twisted
by IcedOverFire
Summary: Why is it that when I'm just starting to get enough courage to confess to Naru, fate has to come in and ruin it all? Well, I won't have it. I'm going to tell Naru I love him even if I have to fly off to England to do it! Looky here, it's actually UPDATED.
1. Chapter 1

_This (which is the edited Chapter One of Twisted, in case you were wondering) has been sitting at the back of my computer for months now. I swear to God, I do not know how it got there. :D_

**--**

**TWISTED**

--

"Fine, if you want to make tea so badly, go ahead! I wouldn't want your beloved Naru to ignore you by not making his tea!" I scream at Masako, ready to wring her little unprotected neck if she tries to do anything to provoke me any more.

I throw at her the tea things which she doesn't catch in time. Poor her. _Not_! I glare at her silently for a few tense moments before shoving her aside to leave the SPR office kitchen. I walk angrily towards my table and hastily gather all my things before pushing Ayako out of my way to reach the main doorway.

"Mai, come back! Masako has always been a pain in the ass! Come on _Mai_!" I hear Ayako's voice float after me as I walk away but I don't turn around. Instead I press the down button of the elevator and impatiently tap my foot as it comes to get me from this hell.

"Bou!" Ayako's shriek can be heard all throughout the hallway. I wouldn't be surprised if the people outside could hear her. "Bou, do something! We don't know what could happen to her!"

"She needs time to cool off, that's all. Leave her alone." That's Bou-san, thank the gods for at least one sane—albeit occasionally annoying—person in the group.

"Leave her _alone_? What do you mean leave her alone? You're acting as if there aren't any spirits that could use her anger! Talk to her! Do something!" Ayako continues poking her head out of the office to make sure I'm still in front of the elevator doors.

Finally, the elevator doors open and I get inside. Now I can get far, far away—away from Ayako's and Bou-san's arguments, Masako's irritating attachment to Naru, Yasuhara-san's 'do you need help with anything, Taniyama-san?' and Naru's narcissism.

_Especially_ Naru. And not only his narcissistic tendencies. Ever since that day in the hospital—the first time Masako forcefully tried to make tea—I just couldn't keep him off my mind. I couldn't even _look_ at him anymore, not after that dream I had.

Ugh.

I _really_ shouldn't have thought about that again.

--

_I find myself in the middle of the most beautiful, almost unearthly, field of wild flowers. The smells and colors are dizzying. But in the best way that I can't describe. The sun is blaring and the heat is making my face heat up—I don't mind it though. The whole place is simply wonderful._

"_Mai," Naru's voice reaches my ears, making me shiver slightly despite the temperature. He's right behind me, his arms slowly encircling my waist. I can feel his steady heartbeat against my back, making me forget how impossible this whole scene actually is._

"_Naru…"_

"_Mai, what would happen if I leave to go back to England?" he asks softly, his velvet voice enveloping me and making me feel the safest I have in my whole life but his question makes me stiffen in his warm arms. I didn't think he could be so…blunt. In my dreams anyway._

"_What?" I ask in reply, wrenching myself from him to look into his dark blue eyes, hoping that he was only joking, just trying to rile me up again over nothing._

_He looks somber though, regretful for asking the question in the first place. "I want to know, Mai."_

_I shake my head in disbelief. No. I don't want to even _think_ about it. Naru going back to England? "No."_

"_Mai." He sounds pleading, as if my answer really matters. _

_I don't want to listen to anything he has to say for once. I turn away and start walking as far as I can get. The tears in my eyes are beginning to sting but I am not going to cry. Not in front of Naru…_

"No_. No, no, no! NO!" I scream to the heavens. If I have my way, not even Kami-sama himself could get Naru away from me. _

_He's suddenly beside me. _

"_I wanted to tell you before I go. Mai, please…don't cry." Should I be happy that he's finished his business about his brother here in Japan? Is that what he's trying to make me feel?_

"_You knew since you started working that this time would come. I have to go back, my parents are waiting." He takes me by my shoulders, gently but firmly, to force me to look at him. _

_I don't care about his parents, dammit. "No." _

_In an attempt to stop crying, I gather all my anger and direct it at him. I'll do anything not to show him how miserable I am. "Why did you have to tell me anyway?" I scream at him sharply, freeing myself of his grasp once again._

_He looks surprised by my outburst. "You were the first person I wanted to say good-bye to," he admits quietly, not looking at me for the first time. _

"_Well, good-bye. If that's all you wanted to say then you can leave now." I cross my arms across my chest to warm myself even if only a little bit from the cold that seemed to take over the field._

_He wraps his arms around me again, hugging me as if I was of real importance in his life when all I did was break his equipment and put his life in danger. I can't help the tears that return full-blast._

"_Please don't leave, Naru… I don't know what I'd do without you…" I cling on to his shirt, my tears soaking through it. My anger failed me this time, maybe pleading will get me somewhere._

"_I don't want to leave, Mai," he whispers in my ear, making me cry even more. _

"_Naru, please stay."_

_He shakes his head slightly. "I'm sorry, Mai." _

_This _has_ to be a dream. This can't be happening—this can't actually happen in real life…right?_

"_I love you…" I whisper the words I had buried in my heart since I started working with him._

"_I know, Mai. I know." _

'_He's going to leave me,' was the last thought that registered before everything became cold and dark as I started to fall._

_--_

It pains me to know that I'm actually close with the Naru in my dreams. Now, if only I believed that the real Naru and I had any chance of being together. The problem of these dreams of mine is that they make me see, quite painfully, what I can never have.

I woke up that night with tears streaming down my face and my chest constricting painfully. From that moment on I didn't care about the times my dreams helped in cases—I hated them with my whole being.

I could only wish that my dream would never come true.

--

The main entrance doors open and I step out into the busy streets outside the office building. It's almost five in the afternoon, I should have just stayed, there's only an hour left of my job anyway. What am I saying? I am _not_ going to allow Ms. I-feel-spirits-and-ghosts-I-just-always-need-time-to-know-where-and-what-they-are-so-I'm-still-better-than-you think that she can just push me around.

Making tea's on _my_ job description, not hers. Why does she have to be so stubborn? Can't she see that I don't give a damn if she likes Naru because I want him for myself? What kind of delusional person is she?

I sigh, making my way slowly to the train station. The day is dreary, bleak and cold—exactly like my mood and the complete opposite of my dream. For the umpteenth time today, I wish I was never born with extra-sensitivity to the paranormal.

"Why did the gods choose me to live this life? Why couldn't they have mercy on me?" I mutter to myself darkly, paying for my ticket. I am now only a train ride away from freedom.

I reach my apartment uneventfully. I choose not to eat anything for dinner and quickly take a bath to cleanse myself of everything that happened today. Before I go to bed I take my time fixing my things for school tomorrow, dreading the fact that in only a few minutes I'll have to face whatever my subconscious chooses for me tonight.

--

"Mai, we were so worried! _Takigawa_ forced us to leave you alone. Are you alright?" Ayako worriedly asks, hugging me the minute I entered the room but glaring at Bou-san with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Hey, don't get mad at _me_. If we were nosy last night Mai wouldn't feel any better, trust me. Would _you_ want people asking you a million annoying questions when you've just finished with an argument?" Bou-san challenged in an irritated tone, standing up to hug me as well.

I laugh at them both, my spirits lifting already. "Stop it you guys, I'm alright, I promise. I guess Masako just caught me in a bad mood yesterday, that's all." I sit down on my desk to see what Lin-san and Naru wanted me to do for today. Let's see…filing and some re-typing. They're awfully thoughtful today.

Just then John and Yasuhara-san appear from the kitchen, they smile when they see me.

"Hey Mai! How are you?" John asks, taking a seat on one of the sofa chairs.

"Hey John, I'm okay, I guess."

"Did you get to talk to Masako?" Yasuhara-san looks worried. He must like Masako a lot for him to worry about whether we made up or not. If only _she_ could see that.

I shake my head. But I really do wish she doesn't hate me. "No, I'm hoping she'll cool down before I see her next though. I don't want to have to go through another fight with her again. I already have Naru biting my head off, I don't need her breathing down my neck, too."

They all laugh at my expense. They're just extremely happy that Naru isn't always hovering behind _their_ backs, making them feel self-conscious everyday.

"Mai. Tea," Naru calls from his office, the keys of his laptop resting for a millisecond.

Is it possible for him not to have heard my fight with Masako? I wondered what happened when I left yesterday…

"The boss calls," I whisper to my friends with a grin.

I make the tea to Naru's liking and knock softly on his door.

"Come in."

I walk inside quietly, placing the cup gingerly on Naru's desk. I smile a little as he looks up from his work to acknowledge me but I bow my head quickly when his eyes connect with mine. "Here you go, Naru. Anything else?" I can't bring myself to look at him. Every time I do, I'm always reminded of my dream and it hurts me to no end.

"What happened yesterday?" he asks quietly, taking a sip of his tea.

I stiffen. _So close_. "Oh, that? It was nothing. Masako was just annoying me a little." I make my way slowly towards the door that meant imminent freedom from the tension and awkwardness. I hate talking about Masako with Naru. It doesn't help that I know they'd be so much better together.

He nods and that's my cue to leave.

He didn't say anything to irritate me. Weird. Well, good…but it's still strange. Maybe he knows more than he's letting on. Wait, this is Naru, _of course_ he knows more than he's letting on.

"Hey, Ayako, what happened when I left yesterday?" I can't help but ask while walking back to my desk.

Ayako looks up from the magazine she's reading in her seat across from a sleeping Bou-san. "Hmm? Oh, Masako made tea for all of us, of course. It was good but Naru didn't say anything so she was pretty disappointed. She left after serving tea…with John, I think." She glances at John and Yasuhara-san who are talking about something or the other.

They seem to notice our silence and stop their conversation. "You left with Masako yesterday, didn't you John?" Ayako inquires bluntly.

The blond-haired priest blushes at Ayako's straightforwardness. "No, Yasuhara-san did."

Yasuhara-san nods in agreement. "I just wanted to make sure she went home safely."

I nod my head. I don't want to put Yasuhara-san in an uncomfortable position. It's been clear for some time now that he's had _some_ (understatement of the year) interest in her so I won't push it for now.

--

She didn't visit today. It's already past the time to leave but she never showed up, not even to catch a glimpse of Naru. That isn't like her.

Everyone else left after they finished reporting to Naru. I was about to leave an hour ago but I had this sinking feeling in my stomach that made me stay and finish the files that I should have done tomorrow. Thankfully it's a Friday and I have no classes scheduled for Saturdays.

The clock on my table says that it's half-past nine already. I'm supposed to leave seven-thirty at the latest. Even Lin-san left a few minutes ago. He looked surprised to see me still doing paperwork but simply gave me a polite good-bye before exiting the office.

"Hey, Naru, I'm going home already. Is there anything else you need me to do today?" I poke my head inside his office, trying my best to ignore the familiar jolt of pain in my heart as I look at his resting form.

Is Naru truly _resting_? I wonder what's wrong.

I step inside cautiously. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary in his office. I move closer to Naru, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach fueling my fear.

"Naru?" I call out tentatively.

I reach his side but his eyes remain closed and he doesn't seem to feel my presence. I touch his forehead and feel his unusually high temperature. My eyes widen, the fear gnawing at every part of my body.

"Naru, wake up." I shake him gently, my dream the farthest thing in the world right now.

He makes a sound that gives me a sense of both relief and dread. I have never seen him like this. His skin is paler and his body is shivering from the non-existent cold. I don't like this. His eyes open a bit, just enough for him to see me.

"Mai?" He sounds so weak.

"I'm here Naru." What should I do now?

"Why are you here?"

"I work here, remember?" I know…I'll call Lin-san! He should know where Naru lives.

Naru laughs. Really _laughed_. Now I _know_ he's sick. "I know but it must be late." He tries to sit up straight but he rethinks it and leans back in his chair. "Why are you still here?" he asks again, more awake but just as weak as he had been when he first opened his eyes.

"Let's call it intuition." I find Naru's office phone and dial Lin-san's home number.

After three rings, he answers the phone. "Hello, Lin-san? This is Mai. Do you know where Naru lives?" A slight pause as Lin-san questions me. "Oh, I was about to leave but when I went into Naru's office to say good-bye I noticed that he wasn't looking so well." He asks another question. "He has a fever."

I talk to Lin-san a little bit more about Naru before he directs me to Naru's house, apartment, whatever. "Thank you, Lin-san. Of course I'll call you if anything happens. Bye." I put down the phone, looking back at Naru who closed his eyes again. Now, how will I get him home?

"Come on, Naru, wake up. We need to get you home." I shake him again before getting his coat and other necessities.

He blinks a bit before sitting properly in his chair. He doesn't say anything though. I walk back to him and urge him to stand up, which he does without a fight. This might be easier than I thought.

We walk slowly towards the elevator then outside the building, neither of us speaking. I call a cab and tell the driver the address of Naru's house.

"We're going to my house?" Naru asks from beside me, slumping a little in his seat as the fever takes over his stressed and exhausted body.

"Yup. We need you in a bed and medicine to rid you of your fever. Does anything hurt right now?" I lean in the seat uncomfortably.

"My head is throbbing like bloody hell, does that count?" I can't help but laugh a little. I'm starting to like sick and drowsy Naru. Well, except for the sick part.

"Okay, when we get there I'll find you some painkillers. Don't worry about it, I'll take care of you."

He nods quietly, closing his eyes again.

"Hey, don't go asleep on me now. Wait until we reach your house. Naru, cooperate with me here."

He opens his eyes blearily then looks at me. I can see the fatigue beating him up and I have to bite my inner cheek to remind myself that he isn't mine to hold and comfort. We finally reach his house (more like very expensive-looking building) then ride the elevator to the fifth floor and walk to his door. He gives me his keys when I ask for them, too tired to open the door himself.

I turn on the lights, ignoring the beauty of his apartment as I concentrate on letting Naru rest. I found some sleeping clothes for him to change into and bring him some medicine, making sure that they wouldn't hurt his stomach too much.

"Naru, go to sleep now, okay? I'll check up on you in a while. Call my name if you need anything, alright?" I sit down on the side of his bed, watching his peaceful face as he drifts off to sleep. Then I place a small, damp towel on his forehead to help with his fever.

I turn off the lights in his room, not really noticing anything there, and start closing the door behind me when I hear Naru's voice whisper my name. I walk back to his bedside only to find out that he's still asleep. I shake my head, laughing at myself quietly

"Mai…"

I couldn't fool myself to think that it was just my imagination this. I go back to him. "Hey, Naru, what's wrong?" I ask softly, sitting at the foot of his bed.

He opens his eyes just a bit to make sure I was really there. The medicines must be starting to work.

"Naru?" I can't keep the worry in my voice as I say his name. I'm not sure whether it's because of him being sick or something else. The air seems to lower in temperature and I suddenly find myself unable to breathe properly despite feeling well a few seconds ago.

"I'm going back to England, Mai."


	2. Chapter 2

_This is really short, I should warn you. And it's incomplete. Oops. I'm really sorry, it's just when I checked out the Ghost Hunt Archives, Twisted was so way back on the list that I felt immense shame that everyone who's reviewed has been waiting for so long. I'll get this edited soon, promise. _

_Ahem. This time the 'Promises Are Meant To Be Broken' rule doesn't apply, just so you guys know. :)_

--

**Chapter Two**

--

I burst into tears—heart-wrenching sobs that seem to break me even more. But I can't find it in myself to stop crying. My chest constricted so much on my way back home that each breath causes me more pain than I have ever had to experience in the years I've been working with the paranormal.

"No…" I whisper to myself, wishing that my words could change my bleak reality. "No…" I say again hopelessly. The tears are hot on my pale, cold skin. I curl into a ball by the front door and clutch at my chest so tightly that I hope I can actually reach in and take out my aching heart. Maybe then I wouldn't have to suffer so much.

I should have seen this coming. I should have known that my dreams are always trying to tell me something. I should have prepared my heart for the excruciating pain that would threaten to tear me apart.

"Naru, please…please don't do this to me." More tears flow down my cheeks and I don't do anything to stop them anymore.

I'm not strong enough to handle this. I don't think I'll survive Naru leaving.

"I want to be stronger…I want Naru to be happy…" I try to think about Naru and the sacrifices he's done for his brother, the things he's had to go through unnecessarily. But it's no use. The more I think about him, the more my heart crumbles into nothingness.

"Naru…"

--

_This time I'm in a barren field, the skies erupting every few seconds with violent thunder and lightning. I don't need to look behind me to know that he's there, watching me silently. _

"_What are we doing here?" I ask in a monotone. In my dreams, I can still scrape together a few shreds of my composure and stay stoic as long as I don't have to see his face._

_There's no sound anywhere from the field. He must have sensed my emotions and stayed put. "I felt that we needed to talk," is his gentle answer. He's probably trying to soothe me, calm me down. Well, good luck._

"_We have nothing to talk about, Naru," I answer in the same emotionless—albeit choked—voice. Please don't come near me. Please, let me retain a bit of my dignity, if only in my dreams._

"_Mai…I'm truly sorry. But—"_

_I can feel his surprise as I cut him off. "Naru, it doesn't change a thing. Do you think you can leave me alone for a while? Let me sort out my thoughts? I don't know what's left or right at the moment."_

_He's hesitant in his response. "My…I'm leaving next week."_

_Another stab at my heart. Doesn't he know how little I have left? Does he have to keep on doing this to me? "I'm sure that Lin-san will help you in closing up SPR," is the only complete sentence I can come up with. _

"_Is that all you have to say?" he asks with a hint of something unfamiliar in his voice._

_Well, let him hurt for once. "Even if I go down on my knees and sang out praises to your narcissistic ass, you aren't going to stay in Japan, Naru. So what is it exactly that you want me to say?" Okay, Mai, focus on the anger, the pain. Don't think about how much you'll miss him or how your life won't feel half as worth living if you aren't around him._

"_I know you're angry, Mai, but we can discuss arrangements and…" He doesn't have anything to say? That must be a first._

"_Arrangements?" I scream in disgust. I feel like I'm being torn into two and he's talking about arrangements? "I don't need your arrangements, Naru!"_

_--_

I wake up in a cold sweat. "Naru!"_  
_


End file.
